


The last nights of Summer

by Morethancupcake



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Childhood Friends, Death of a pet, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Lisa/Dean breakup, M/M, Minor Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, POV Castiel, Past Balthazar/Castiel, RIP Turnip, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, coming to term with sexuality, they all ship it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 14:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10946124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morethancupcake/pseuds/Morethancupcake
Summary: "The first time Castiel asks for a kiss, he's five and they are having a sleepover."Dean is his favorite, and Castiel counts the kisses he keeps like memories.





	The last nights of Summer

**Author's Note:**

> There you go. After last night's episode and the various reactions on Tumblr (keep in mind I left everything back at season 9 I believe) , I offered my services as a fluff-provider. Anon asked for "any fics you give me". 
> 
> As usual, please remember English isn't my first language (far from it), that I don't have a beta, and this was written today and had very little editing.

The first time Castiel asks for a kiss, he's five and they are having a sleepover. Dean's Mom helped him into one of Sammy's jammies, one with cute little cars on it, and they all brushed their teeth together.

Castiel asks if he can sleep with Dean, because Dean has a huge bed, and he's his favourite. 

Since it's almost Christmas, and they don't have school, they let them watch a movie, and it's nice to be there, it's different than his house with all his brothers, but not Michael who's not even home yet. Castiel misses him a lot.

Sammy is the first to fall asleep, and he's drooling on his Dad's chest when they go to bed, Dean still holding his hand after the stairs.

“Dean ? Can I have a kiss please ?”

Dean holds his cheeks and kisses his forehead, just like his Mom did before closing the door. He smells like peanut butter and toothpaste, and Castiel loves him a lot.

“Dean ?” 

“What ?” They have to whisper, because it's very late and they're not supposed to be awake, still.

“Can I have more kisses ,please ?”

 

The second time, Castiel is twelve, and he is crying so hard he can feel his chest moving when he tries to stop. He can't help it, it's like the sadness bursting out of him.

Turnip died during the night, and Castiel knows the bunny was old, he knows he had a wonderful life, but he feels so heartbroken. He can't imagine the garden without Turnip in his playpen, and he doesn't want to imagine a morning not waking up earlier to play with him.

Luke buries him under the hydrangeas, and he hugs Castiel for a long time, sitting in the mud with him. Castiel knows he's being a child, that's what Gabriel said. He knows, but he can't help how he feels. When Luke asks if he's going to be okay, he nods and goes to hide under the redcurrant bushes.

Dean is tall, and he's almost as big as Luke, now. He doesn't ask if Castiel is okay, he doesn't ask him to get out and come back to the house. He just sighs and crawls to sit next to him on the moss.

Turnip is gone, and Castiel is devastated, but Dean smells like the laundry soap his mom uses, and like his room, and he holds him just right, so it doesn't hurt as much.

“It'll be okay, Cas. I promise it'll be okay.” Dean smells like coffee, and his lips are warm when they rest of his forehead. 

 

The third time, Castiel is sixteen, and sitting under the trees behind the house. 

He's not sure how he feels. Prom night was supposed to be a blast, according to his brothers. And it was perfect. Hannah had been lovely, their whole group of friends had spent a great night dancing and having fun, it was a fabulous night. It's just...

“Hey Cas.” Dean smiles when he sits next to him. “I thought for a minute you were smoking. I was getting my big brother's speech ready.”

“I don't smoke, Dean.” Dean ruffles his hair, and he pretends to shove him around. Dean is still his favourite. He's maybe not his best friend in the high school sense of the term. Castiel doesn't spend his weekends playing video games with him. They don' talk about girls, or football, or other things Castiel share with his brothers or his friends. But Dean is Dean.

“What are you going here in the dark, dude ? Sam already told Mom and Dad everything, from the buffet to the playlist, I swear he's on a roll.”

“Maybe I'm not. On a roll.”

Dean just hums in answer, and watches the sky above them. It's too bright for stars, and Castiel thinks about this summer, the cottage and the lake, the stars and the smell of lavender everywhere. 

“What if...” He stops and considers what he wants to say. “Tonight, Hannah tried to kiss me.” Dean hums again. “We were waiting for the others, in the car. She tried, and I pushed her away. She isn't mad, I think.”

“So what ? You're afraid she's going to be upset in the morning ?” Dean's tone is light, and Castiel is glad for it. Dean knows this is not about Hannah, but he's letting him time to process.

“What if I don't want to kiss anyone ? Meg kissed me at Sam's birthday party. I keep hearing people telling me kissing is so amazing, and girls are amazing, but what if... What if I don't want to kiss them ?”

“Well, it depends.” Dean shrugs and watches him with a little smile, and he messes up his hair even more. “Do you think you want to kiss boys, or is it the whole kissing thing you're against ?”

“I don't know.”

 

They go for a walk, around the neighbourhood. Dean tells him about his Uncle, and the job he managed to get at the Roadhouse. He tells him everything Castiel already knows about, and he doesn't seem to mind when Castiel forgets to answer, to ask, because he's too busy thinking.

“I think...” They stop in front of the Novak's house. It's so late it's almost early, and the light around them slowly turns orange. “I think, maybe, kissing a boy would be okay.”

“Well, you'll see.” Dean opens the gate, and walks him to the back porch. “Maybe one day you'll kiss a boy. Or maybe one day you'll find a girl. Or again, maybe you won't want to kiss anybody. It doesn't matter, Cas. What only matters in that you're happy, okay ?”

“Okay.” 

They both watch the sky turns lavender, then pink. Castiel's father makes them pancakes, and when Dean leaves, he holds his face and kisses his forehead, just like when they were little.

 

The fourth time, and Castiel thinks it's odd he can pinpoint them like this, he's drunk. He's not as bad as the other, he was after all good enough to walk home, but he's definitely intoxicated, and that's probably why it takes him a minute to recognise the silhouette waiting for him on the porch.

“Weren't going to come and say hi, Cas ?”

Dean looks older. Not older like they all do, after college, and part time jobs and first flings. No, Dean looks like the adult he's supposed to be, wiser, stronger.

And he's still, in a way, Castiel's favourite. They drink strong coffee and Dean listens. Castiel talks about his apartment, and how sharing with Mickael had been a terrible, terrible idea. He talks about his job in a clothing shop, and how he's not master of T Shirt folding. Dean laughs, and he asks about the city, about Castiel's friends, about everything he misses, being so far away.

“I miss you, Cas.” He hides his smile in his cup. “I miss all of you guys, but you, you always were my favourite.”

“You were mine. You are mine.” Dean's eyes are green, and Castiel never noticed, before, how light they are. “You can call me, you know. We could Skype, too.”

“We could.” He knows there's something more, here, something Dean doesn't want to say.

“And what about you. Tell me about you.”

Dean tells him about Charlie, and Ash, and the nights at the Roadhouse. He tells him about Uncle Bobby, and Cain, and how splitting his time between wood and iron made everything in his head quieter and better. He tells him about Lisa, and Benny. He tells him and Castiel listens.

When they part, Dean hugs him in one of those bear hugs he used to give Sammy, and he kisses him on both cheeks before letting him go.

 

The next kiss, sixth if he's right, and he usually is, happens when he helps Dean moving out of Lisa's out, and into Bobby's guest room. 

He gets the texts at seven AM, and doesn't even think when he answers and runs out of bed. He calls Gabriel on his way to the bakery and collects all the cardboard boxes his car can hold. In front if the house, he spots Sam's car, Bobby's truck and Charlie's old van. 

Lisa never liked him. She was polite, of course, and her usual charming self, but Castiel knows he was never invited for dinner, or birthday parties. He made his peace with it, but it still stings when she looks at him with so much resentment and doesn't answer his hello.

It takes them less than one hour to pack everything and leave. Dean looks a little shocked, a little sad, but it's pretty clear he was the one calling it quits, and they all decide not to ask. 

Bobby starts the grill, and beers suddenly appear in the backyard.

Dean jokes about a sleepover.

Once, when they are both shoulders to shoulders in the small kitchen, peeling garlic and onions. A second time, when he watches Sam and Charlie driving away. At the third joke, Castiel tells him to pack a bag and to come crash at his place for a few nights.

They drink on the porch, because coming back from college to sharing a house with his brothers made Castiel a little wilder, and he finds them a bottle of the good whiskey and two glasses. Dean is finishing to type their pizza order when he sits down.

“It's not the end of the world.” He says, voice a little too rough. Castiel knows it's an act. It's Dean trying to be John, Dean trying to be the man he believes his Dad to be. Castiel sees John differently, he sees the dorky father who helped him flip grilled cheese when he was sleeping at the Winchester's house, but it's not important. “Uncle Bobby needs help, and it'll actually be good not to have to drive all the way from her house to the yard anymore.”

“Yes.” The whiskey is good, good enough that Dean stops and closes his eyes to savour it. “And you know we're here for you.”

“Yeah. Yeah, seems that was the problem.” He shakes his head. “We just couldn't stop arguing about everything. You guys, me spending too much time at the Roadhouse. Jo. Your cousin. God, even you.”

Jo and Anna, Castiel can understand. He looks so puzzled Dean just messes his hair up, just like old time, and they both start to bicker. The pizzas are amazing, and Castiel surprises himself several times, thinking how nice it is to be able to be here, with his favourite person in the world, sharing wonderful food and alcohol.

When he tells Dean, his eyes widens a little, and he looks at Castiel like he never did before. The emotions are too quick, and Castiel was never good at it in the first place, but he knows Dean, almost as well as he know himself, but everything in his best friend's eyes are not easy to read.

“Yeah.” Dean smiles, a little wobbly, but not exactly unhappy, and he reaches for the back of his neck. “Yeah, you're right. It's nice.”

The kiss isn't what he expected. It's not a touch on his forehead, or on his cheek. It's chaste, but it's here, it's a real kiss, and Dean looks like he found an answer, maybe, or just understood something Castiel can't decipher.

 

The seventh, and in a way it's the last time, Balthazar is spending a few nights over. Castiel loves him, it's not the same burning love he once felt, he isn't in love anymore, but he finds himself feeling young, and carefree, and he enjoys the lightness his friend brings.

They go on a small road trip and come back tanned and exhausted. They go to restaurants and drink until everything is hilarious and they have to sit on the floor to laugh. 

They throw a party, because that's what they used to do, and Balthazar meets everyone, they all eat in the garden, plates on their knees, and it's the last days of summer, Castiel wants to savour it.

Balthazar asks in the morning. They're both nursing their coffee, and splitting a huge omelette when he looks up, suddenly serious.

“Cas. What are you going to do about Dean ?” And it makes no sense, so he has to elaborate. “He's in love with you. And you're in love with him.”

He opens his mouth to protest, or to laugh maybe. He wants to explain to Balthazar how it's not possible, except he thinks.

He thinks about Dean, sitting close to him all night. He thinks about his shirt, sleeves rolled up, and the myriad of freckles on his arms. He thinks about his laugh, and how that sound is now for him part of the summer, like the taste of basil, the sun burning on his shoulders.

He wants to protest, except he remembers Dean's hand on his lower back, and the way he can always find his eyes across the room, not matter what.

“I am in love with him, am I ?”

“I believe you are, Cassie.”

“And you think he's in love with me.”

“I know he is. And you know, too.”

He doesn't run. He walks to the Winchester's house, his coffee cup still in hands. No one seems to mind his pyjama bottoms, and John doesn't seem surprised when he spots him in front of their house.

“He's probably in the garden, he's not back to Bobby's yet.”

And Castiel forgets to say thank you, forgets to be polite, or maybe to explain just why he's here at seven on a Saturday morning, but maybe he doesn't need to.

 

Dean blushes when he spots him, and he stutters, trying to say something, trying to ask.

Castiel puts his mug on the grass and cups his face in his hands. 

 

The first time Castiel kisses him, Dean is holding onto him, fingers caressing his back, eyes closed to keep the tears at bay. Everything smells like the end of summer, like the plants around them, and just right. 

Dean is his favourite.

“Cas ?” his voice breaks a little, and Castiel wipes the tears away.

“Yes Dean ?” Up close, Dean's eyes are even lighter.

“Can I have more kisses, please ?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ! I hope you liked it enough to consider leaving me a kudos and even a comment ? (these are arm brownie for the soul, you have no idea !)
> 
> You can find a link to the story on Tumblr if you want to reblog it to spread the fluffy happy feels :) 
> 
>  http://iwanttopizzamanyou.tumblr.com/post/160843342419/the-last-nights-of-summer
> 
> And while I have your attention, please remember to stretch from time to time, and to drink regularly. If you want a snack, get a snack ! Life is too short to worry about things like that.


End file.
